The curtains are closing
by VodkaAndCoke
Summary: "You know if I could change things I would. I'd make myself not love him and I'd just drop everything to run away with you."


**Okay, this is a one shot based at the end of senior year. Rachel and Noah (not Puck) have been best friends for most of it. Rachel's still with Finn, I'm afraid. Noah is leaving to a cheap apartment that he's bought in LA where he's going to try and get his music out to the world. Rachel is leaving at the end of the summer to go to New York (and Julliard.) This is just their goodbyes.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, would I have Finchel? Nooooo! So obviously I don't own it.**

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><p><em>"I know it's over<br>And it never really began  
>But in my heart it was so real"<br>- The Smiths, I Know It's Over_

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><p>It felt so final. The boxes were in the car, his room was empty and his mum had already gone through a box of tissues. He'd be leaving, just like he'd always wanted. He wouldn't live in Lima for his whole life like everyone thought he would. He'd be doing all the things he'd wanted in life, he'd get the chance to prove to everyone that there was more to him than everyone thought. And the fact that he was the first to move on and pluck up the courage to leave the place he felt safe even if it hadn't ever felt like home, this wasn't even the weirdest part of it all. The weirdest part was that he was so close to achieving his one wish in life except he didn't really want to because he thought maybe he had another wish now. Maybe there was something in Lima to make him stay, to make him happy, to make it feel like home. But he'd pushed that away whenever it started to creep into his mind. He wouldn't drop everything for a girl who wouldn't do the same for him.<p>

He rolled his eyes as his mother started to mutter about calling him the moment he got there because he'd already promised a million times that he would. She wafted her hand through the air, using the other to wipe a tear from her eye. It was funny because for the past year she'd told him she couldn't wait to get rid of him and now she couldn't let him go. He crouched to hug his sister who was crying despite her telling him she hated him on a regular basis and saying she couldn't wait to get his room. He knew she wouldn't ever admit she was crying even though it was obvious, she had red splotchy patches around her eyes and snot was dripping down her face. If he pointed this out she'd narrow her eyes and probably kick him, she may be fucking tiny but that would hurt like hell. He's being serious. And for the first time that day a true smile came over his face as she whispered a quiet "I'll miss you" into his ear. He stood back up, took a quick glimpse around the corridor and then exited the house.

He saw her sitting on the curb beside his truck. She looked like she was shivering except he knew she wasn't, it was fucking boiling out there, so he knew she must be shaking from crying or something. He walked up beside her and she glanced up at him, confirming his suspicions as he saw the tears streaking down her face. She stood up, brushing the dust off her dress before looking at him fully. She managed a small but sad smile and he thought that it might just have broken his heart. She took a deep, shaky breath and glanced over his shoulder at the house behind him, "I... I wanted to say goodbye," She told him in a raspy voice, her gaze dropping down to the pavement below them. He nodded his head, running a hand through his Mohawk.

"Right," He swallowed, hard, and tried not to cry and for once it wasn't because he was a badass but simply because this was her. If he cried he knew she'd just break down and he'd never be able to leave. He loved her for fucks sake and he couldn't just get into his truck and leave her sitting on the curb crying her eyes out.

"Do you have to go now? Couldn't you wait until the end of the summer?" She asked, rubbing at her eyes although it made no difference because fresh tears had already started to come down her face.

"Wouldn't that just make it harder?" He raised his eyebrows and let a little, soft smile play at the corners of his lips. Truth was that if he spent any more time here, with her, he'd fall more in love with her and suggest something stupid like setting up house in Lima.

"I guess so," She nodded her head as she nibbled on her bottom lip like she always did when she was trying not to enter full on sobs. They stood in silence for a moment, her studying the stones beneath their feet and him watching her study them. It took him back to the time he'd told her he'd be leaving in just a week and she'd placed on a big, false smile and told him 'she was happy for him' because despite knowing she wouldn't be able to live without him in her life he was supposed to leave. When she said congratulations and she was proud of him, however, he knew the words were true despite her heart breaking at the thought of his leaving. She was good like that; she could paint on smiles despite being broken. She placed him first. She placed everyone first.

"We'll see each other soon, I promise," He told her although they both knew he wouldn't, he'd never go back here despite it hurting him not to. He had to leave because if he didn't he'd stay there forever or follow her around and never achieve anything, "This isn't goodbye," He added after a moment, another lie. They both knew it was and nothing either of them could say could convince them otherwise. But it was easier than telling her he didn't know if they'd ever see each other soon or even again. If he said that they'd both fall to pieces. Sometimes you have to lie.

"Of course," She replied, sniffling a little because she could feel the finality of his leaving coming down around her, she could feel the tense feeling that only ever came with goodbyes. She could feel it and so could he. Whatever they said to the contrary would be a lie, he was leaving. Forever. This was the end of whatever screwed up thing that was going on with them. It fell quiet again, then. He didn't know what to say and neither did she. He knew why he was leaving, or at least he thought he did. It was to get away from Lima and achieve all the things he'd wanted to (or just not to be the Lima loser everyone thought he was would be good enough for him) and he wasn't running away from her and everything that came with her. Because he wasn't the type to run away, he usually made other people do the running. But with her everything got shifted around.

"I'm not running away," He said quietly and instead of any comment of 'I didn't say you were' like she usually would she laughed softly and shook her head, taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

"Moving on isn't running away, Noah. Just because you're leaving this all behind doesn't mean that you're giving up or hiding from anything. Letting go isn't losing any battles, it's just being brave enough to admit defeat. I think being able to do that makes you stronger than most of the people out there." She replied and managed a little smile. I think the battle has already been lost, so what's the point in fighting it any longer? It takes an awful lot to build up the strength to let go. You're not running away. You've just realised that it's not right for you to stay. You're better than this place. You're not a Lima loser, you're made for things better than this town and I think that if you didn't leave now, you'd never get out and I'd hate that."

He nodded his head and for the first time that day he felt a few tears slip down his face and she reached up to brush them away with her small, soft fingers. She smiled at him and he thought it might actually be a real one and for that he smiled his own smile, "I'm scared," He mumbled and she nodded her head and said that she knew he was. He looked up at her and he saw that her tears had started to dry. All the strings were finally tying themselves up. It was nearly over, "I'm scared too," She whispered and he nodded once more.

"I think we all are," He answered with a laugh, he looked into her eyes and took her small hand because this might be one of his last chances to touch her. He pulled her forward, wrapping his other arm around her neck and he felt her wrapping her own free arm around his waist. They stayed like that for a few moments before he stepped back, she squeezed his hand gently before dropping it so that it fell back to his side. They just stood there, looking at each other and smiling little smiles. They'd already passed the worst part of goodbyes; he tried telling himself although he knew it was a lie. He still had to drive away and she still had to watch.

In that moment he felt like telling her he loved her, it was his last chance after all and he very much doubted that her boyfriend would pop out from behind a bush to punch him. But he knew that she wouldn't return his feelings and he couldn't hear that, even if he was leaving her and this life behind and starting anew. There was also a flitter of worry that she might say she loved him back, because then he knew that he'd be straight there pulling out his boxes and yelling to his mum "Ma, Lima suddenly seems like fucking wonderland or something. I think I got it wrong" even though he'd spent his whole life calling it a hell hole. So he kept his lips shut and glanced over his shoulder at his truck behind him, only looking back at her as she said in a quiet voice. "You know if I could change things I would. I'd make myself not love him and I'd just drop everything to get away with you. We'd achieve all our dreams and we'd have each other so that even if we didn't, we still had the thing that was most important to us in the whole world,"

She paused for a moment and he thought that it might be to hear his reply but he didn't say anything so she continued, "We'd live life like we were in a fairytale, we'd be the couple that was never supposed to make it but did... But life isn't a fairytale, we don't always have a happily ever after and sometimes things don't work out like you thought they would. Sometimes there isn't a Prince Charming but there's just a guy that you couldn't stop yourself falling in love with despite hurting you so many times before. Maybe he's the bad guy, maybe he's the one that when you were a little girl you'd roll your eyes and grumble about how stupid the girl was and that she should run before he hurts her again. But sometimes you can't run because it's too hard to, I still love the bad guy even if I shouldn't. I still hope that this time it'll be different... I might just love the knight in shining armour, the one that always seemed to save me or support me... But I'm not ready to drop everything for him. I can't do that."

He nodded and bit his lip, he squeezed his eyes shut and he felt his chest rising and falling as he tried to will himself not to cry. When he opened his eyes he saw her looking down at the ground like she had not that long ago and when he spoke her head snapped up to look him in the face (not the eyes, she couldn't force herself to do that quite yet), "Fairytales are all just fantasy in the end, they might have been fucking great while they lasted but in the end it's just another story. Fairytales are never reality. So don't worry, in the end you'll realise that you're too good for him and you'll meet someone else. Someone better than him. Someone who's not a prince and maybe not a knight, but he's exactly what you need. I wish things were different, but after all, wishes only come true in fairytales."

She swallowed and nodded her head a few times before shifting her gaze to the trees over his shoulder, "If I wasn't with him do you think things would be any different?" She asked, her eyes darting back to look at his face once more. He smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"How can we know? If you weren't with him, we might not be here now... Everything would change. Maybe we wouldn't even be friends, and that'd be a shame. But we'd never end up together I don't think, because you're too good for me and you deserve bigger things than me. But this is how things have played out, okay? Don't think of what could have beens because you might lose sight on what's actually happening. Just look forward, okay?" He told her and reached forward to push a few strands of her hair behind her ear. She had tears pooling in her eyes as she looked at him, then, her lip quivering. Her chest was heaving as she tried to keep back her sobs. Something flittered across her face, a dark shadow of a ghost.

He knew then, she'd seen the one thing he'd forever hold back, she'd seen fear. Because this wasn't going according to plan, she wasn't supposed to come and say goodbye, she wasn't supposed to talk about what-ifs or them. It'd just kill him inside. This was supposed to be simple, maybe their story wasn't a fairytale, but it certainly deserved being told. Their story was supposed to end with he knowledge that maybe things didn't work out like you'd hoped, but at least they learned something. At least they survived. But she wasn't supposed to wonder about their story, the only solid thing to hold onto. She risked looking in his eyes properly then, she'd been scared that if she did look in them she'd never glance away, and then in a strangled, quiet little voice that if he hadn't been so close to her he wouldn't have even heard her, she asked, "What are you so scared of?"

He chuckled, a bitter sound and it squeezed her heart to hear the noise, if she hadn't been so on edge to hear his reply she'd have pointed that out. The truth was she didn't even know whether she wanted his answer, she was a little scared of what she'd hear, because the truth hurts and she knows that better than anyone. He shook his head and looked away from her, over at the battered truck parked up against the curb. When he turned back to her she could have sworn she saw a shadow of regret flitter across his eyes but it was gone before she even knew whether it was there. "Everything," He answered and started to get in his truck. "Rach, don't stop dreaming," He yells to her, trying to stop his heart from breaking. Trying not to look back at her face, trying not to get the image of her tear stained face burnt into his mind. He could do this. It was nearly over, all he had to do was make it final. He knows he shouldn't of left it like that, it wasn't fair. But he knew that a second longer and he wouldn't be able to leave.

This was the end, she knew that, and if she didn't know that she would have yelled after him. She'd demand that he hugged her again and told her goodbye properly instead of just walking away. But she didn't. She knew that she shouldn't yell after him because they'd say something else and they'd both regret it and he'd stay. He'd stay and he'd never become a musician or let the world hear his music. No body would be able to appreciate him. He'd never become all that he could be, he'd never stop feeling like a Lima loser or that he failed her. He'd stay and they wouldn't work and they'd both regret him not going. So she watched as he got in his battered old truck and heard the rumble of the engine start, feeling an amused smile fall across her face as she remembered all the times she'd told him to buy a new truck, that his was old and would end up being the death of him. She watched as the trucks started down the road and round the corner, out of sight, like the sky getting enveloped by darkness. Her smile fell away almost as soon as it had came, it was all over now.

In the future her smile returned. It'd appear when he came on the music channel and she'd tell her new boyfriend, the boyfriend he'd told her she'd get, that she knew he'd become something and that she was so very proud of him. She'd smile at the song about lost loves and fairytales that didn't come true because they were dedicated to her even if he didn't mention her name. She'd tear up and just sit there swaying. She'd be the first person to get his album, he'd posted it to her apartment in New York after he'd gotten the address off of her dads and she was one of the people that went to all of his concerts. She was the one that paid far too much for that signed T-Shirt of his. They never properly spoke again but they were forever in each other's hearts. They knew they were supposed to let each other go but they couldn't, so she held onto his music and he'd always creep into her musicals once a year when he wasn't touring, he'd take a seat at the back so he could be the first one out so she wouldn't see him. He'd keep the programmes with her name on and the articles about her. He was the one that clapped like crazy as she got all her awards and voted for her a billion times to get it.

So she sunk to the ground, her raging sobs tearing her apart as she felt like she was being clawed apart, she knew she'd get better eventually but in that moment it felt like her world would constantly be dark. It was the end of their chapter, their book, but in the grand scheme of things their story would go on. Things would happened after one another. She stayed there for over an hour before she finally headed home to her life without him. He was gone and she felt a little weight lift off her shoulders to know that he would achieve bigger things than Lima. She loved him enough to let him go, and he loved her enough to let her have a better life without him. They'd finally get everything they always deserved. He couldn't deny that he did look over his shoulder at her and he did think about turning around every few miles just like she couldn't deny she pulled out her phone every ten minutes in that hour she stood there to call him back. But they didn't and that might be just about one of the most sensible decisions they ever made.

She cried for a few hours in her room that night and blasted all her sad love songs so loud it nearly made her ears bleed. She would keep telling herself it was right but that didn't stop the tears that fell down her cheeks at the thought of never properly seeing him again because she knew she wouldn't no matter what he said to the contrary. If they saw one another again, this time they'd drop everything for one another and she knew that but it still didn't stop her feeling like her heart had been attacked by knives. On the other hand, he spent his night smiling and remembering all the good times with his Hot Jewish- American Princess that had never really been his princess. He'd flicked through all the text messages and photos on his phone that he knew he should delete but didn't quite feel up to it. He'd never admit that he did cry a little but that lasted only a few minutes because he'd already fallen asleep to dreams of her and if things were different.

But eventally she stopped picking up her phone to call him, and he stopped wanting to turn around the truck. Eventually, their lives could go on without the other and their stories continued being written. Their lives started to become lighter, they could deny that sometimes the clouds rolled in and they wondered how that day could go differently. What they could do and what they could say to make it all change. But Rachel would watch as he plucked the strings of his guitar on a stage in front of thousands, see that smile on his face and know that she'd done the right thing. Puck would see Rachel's face splattered across posters and say quietly to himself, "I suppose she followed my last wish." Things hadn't gone to plan, but sometimes you can't plan and plot things. They just happen the way they're supposed to.

Sometimes the end isn't how you'd like it to go, sometimes there's no wedding or riding off into the sunset. Sometimes there aren't just smiles; sometimes there's tears. But this was the end whether they liked it or not. The end of them, now it was just her and just him. They both couldn't lie about the fact that there was a huge crack along their hearts that glue couldn't even fix and they both couldn't lie about all the emotions of loss that came over them. But it was the end that had always been lurking behind them. It was the end they knew was going to come. It was the end that had been over their heads since the moment they became friends.

But, the end was the beginning of the rest of their lives. Maybe their lives weren't fairytales, but at least they had a story. At least they lived, even if they also lost.

"_People think holding on makes you strong, but sometimes it takes more strength to let go and move on."_

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><p><strong>The end, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it<strong>


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